Rip frank carson
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a very funny man when i was a bit younger
makes you laugh
My wife said to me: “If you won the lottery, would you still love me?� I said: “Of course I would. I’d miss you, but I’d still love you.�
- There’s a professor who’s crossed a chicken with a spider, he’s now got chickens with 8 legs! I said, ‘What does it taste like?� He said, ‘I don’t know, I haven’t caught any yet.’
- My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' lines of communication. He ate their pigeon.
- I don't think my wife likes me very much. When I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
- Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are at a Christmas party and each had to bring something to do with Christmas. Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, Scotsman brought a bag of holly and the Irishman brought a pair of knickers. I asked, ‘What’s that got to do with Christmas?’ He said, ‘They’re Carol’s.’
- A fella walks into a pet shop and says: “Give me a wasp.� The shopkeeper replies: “We don’t sell wasps.� He says: “There’s one in the window.�
Paddy calls a wrong number at 3am. "Is that O'Malley's Bar?," he asks. "No it's not, this is a private residence." "Oh, I must have the wrong number. Sorry to have troubled you," says Paddy. "Ah it's no trouble," says the stranger. "I had to get up to answer the phone anyway."
- A man goes into Boots and says: “Have you got custard?� “Do you have a prescription?,� asks the chemist. “No,� he replies, “But I’ve got a photograph of the wife...�
- An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband demanded to know who the other man was.
- A fella walked into hospital and the doctor said: “You’ve got three minutes to live.� The man said: “Can you do something for me?� “Yes,� he said. “I’ll boil you an egg.�
- I rang British Telecom. I said, “I want to report a nuisance caller.� He said: "Not you again.�
- A fella said to the doctor: “What’s the good news?� “You’ve got 24 hours to live.� He says: “What’s the bad news?� And the doc says: “We should have told you yesterday.�
LLL
makes you laugh
My wife said to me: “If you won the lottery, would you still love me?� I said: “Of course I would. I’d miss you, but I’d still love you.�
- There’s a professor who’s crossed a chicken with a spider, he’s now got chickens with 8 legs! I said, ‘What does it taste like?� He said, ‘I don’t know, I haven’t caught any yet.’
- My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' lines of communication. He ate their pigeon.
- I don't think my wife likes me very much. When I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
- Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are at a Christmas party and each had to bring something to do with Christmas. Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, Scotsman brought a bag of holly and the Irishman brought a pair of knickers. I asked, ‘What’s that got to do with Christmas?’ He said, ‘They’re Carol’s.’
- A fella walks into a pet shop and says: “Give me a wasp.� The shopkeeper replies: “We don’t sell wasps.� He says: “There’s one in the window.�
Paddy calls a wrong number at 3am. "Is that O'Malley's Bar?," he asks. "No it's not, this is a private residence." "Oh, I must have the wrong number. Sorry to have troubled you," says Paddy. "Ah it's no trouble," says the stranger. "I had to get up to answer the phone anyway."
- A man goes into Boots and says: “Have you got custard?� “Do you have a prescription?,� asks the chemist. “No,� he replies, “But I’ve got a photograph of the wife...�
- An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband demanded to know who the other man was.
- A fella walked into hospital and the doctor said: “You’ve got three minutes to live.� The man said: “Can you do something for me?� “Yes,� he said. “I’ll boil you an egg.�
- I rang British Telecom. I said, “I want to report a nuisance caller.� He said: "Not you again.�
- A fella said to the doctor: “What’s the good news?� “You’ve got 24 hours to live.� He says: “What’s the bad news?� And the doc says: “We should have told you yesterday.�
LLL
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yeah RIP Frank, a very funny man if you liked his type of sense of humor which I always did
I got the first of many joke text late this morning so I guessed he had passed away
I got the first of many joke text late this morning so I guessed he had passed away
Crystalclear
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Do you have a prescription? = description
No,� he replies, “But I’ve got a photograph of the wife
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speaking of photos its over 18 months since you last posted any of your work LPAD, when are you going to bless us with some more of this high standard of workmanship in and around the Gatwick area ? ???
No,� he replies, “But I’ve got a photograph of the wife
---------------------------------------------------
speaking of photos its over 18 months since you last posted any of your work LPAD, when are you going to bless us with some more of this high standard of workmanship in and around the Gatwick area ? ???
Crystalclear
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must be a southern thing then, no sense of humour
I look forward to returning home tonight and seeing your latest creation
I look forward to returning home tonight and seeing your latest creation
Crystalclear
Driveway and Patio Installer
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7 days a week 8am till 8pm
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- Location: bedfordshire
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how do you confuse a Welshman, line 3 shovels on a wall and ask him to take his "PICK"
Crystalclear
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- Posts: 2598
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how do you confuse a Welshman, line 3 shovels on a wall and ask him to take his "PICK"
Crystalclear
Driveway and Patio Installer
Call us today
01942 840109
7 days a week 8am till 8pm
Driveways Patios and Paving Specialists
Driveways
Driveway and Patio Installer
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01942 840109
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Driveways Patios and Paving Specialists
Driveways
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sergeant to pupil at the army:
" i didn't see you in camouflage class today"
"thanks very much sir!"
" i didn't see you in camouflage class today"
"thanks very much sir!"
Dan the Crusher Man
01442 212315
www.crusherhire.co.uk
"a satisfied customer? we should have them stuffed!"
01442 212315
www.crusherhire.co.uk
"a satisfied customer? we should have them stuffed!"