How to burn calories while having sex - Just been sent this....lol

[henpecked]

Body: Giving head....... Massages the jaw....while burning 32 Calories.

Swallowing foreign body juices is actually like taking vitamins and it Whitens your teeth.

The American Dental Association says that semen cuts plaque better than Mouth wash, so suck a dick and save a smile.

Having nice sex burns 358 calories.

Having rough sex [make it hurt] burns 543 calories.

Take off her clothes:
With her consent..................12 cal
Without................................187 cal

Take off her Bra:
With two hands.......................8 cal
With one hand.......................12 cal
With mouth............................85 cal

Put on Protection:
Hard ......................................... 6 cal
Soft........................................ 315 cal

Foreplay:
Looking for target.....................8 cal
Finding G spot .........................92 cal
I don't flipping care......................0 c

Entry:
Holding her.................... 12 cal
On the floor.......................8 cal

With Different Position:
Missionary...............................358 cal
Doggy........................................316 cal
69 lying.....................................286 cal
69 standing...............................512 cal
Italian hanger...........................912 cal

Orgasm:
Real........ ......... ......... ......112 cal
Faking...... ......... ......... ........315 cal

After "O":
Lying in Bed......... ......... ......... ..18 cal
Hop off the bed......... ......... ......... .36 cal
Wondering why she left pissed off......816 cal

Get dressed:
Quiet and calm.......................... .32 cal
Rushing..................................... ..98 cal
Heard her boyfriend opening the door.............1218 cal
Heard her dad at the door.............1942 cal
Her mom walking in..............................Priceless! !!LOL