Me and the Mrs was going to bed and felt a bit frisky.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT?! What was that?!" So she says the words every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear.... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man". She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch then went shopping at a large unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said "Let's get a pair for each outfit."
We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all the excitement . Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out , "Nohoney, I don't feel likeit." Her face just went completelyblack as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" Then I said, "Honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to statisy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look likeshe was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not just for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... But at least that b**ch knows I'm smarter than her
Not in the mood
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