Advice needed /off topic

Sat Jul 28, 2012 10:17 am

I have a close relative who cannot stop telling lies,I dont mean little white lies I mean whoppers
cancer for 2 years
degree in law
blackmailed
kidnapped
baby snatched
pneumonia
meningitis
pregnant with twins
no payout from the social for 2 years
broken back

these are just some of the choice lies,it has been going on for 10 years and its driving me mad
it doesnt bother me because i can see it straight away but its very hurtful to other members of the family,and there is a financial draw on it too

this person hasnt got a mental illness per se,more of a personality defect or a pathological liar

anyway i need to find some way of getting the person in to some kind of treatment,has anyone got any idea where to start or even another forum where I can find out?

regards LLL

Carberry · Post: # 81217Post **Carberry** Sat Jul 28, 2012 10:22 am

Quick search came up with this

Psychforums

local patios and driveway · Sat Jul 28, 2012 3:41 pm

Ive seen this and its saddening. Is it for attention? What happens when you ask them why the are full o' crap?

Sat Jul 28, 2012 5:02 pm

when she told the family that she was graduating in law,i asked when had she been to uni?
she replied in her spare time
i replied bollox and then my old dear started raring up on me
it does seem to be for the whole attention,but also a lot of the lies are financially beneficial to her
I f i pull her on anything she always has another tissue of lies to try and cover the first lies
LLL

Pablo · Post: # 81231Post **Pablo** Sat Jul 28, 2012 5:28 pm

She has a form of personality disorder and should seek a referal from her GP to the community mental health team. These disorders are rarely curable but they can be managed to a sociable level. Getting her to get help is the hardest part of all though.

Sat Jul 28, 2012 7:28 pm

i think the most important thing is for my parents to understand that someone they love can lie to them constantly.
while she pretended to have cancer a close relative died in silence from cancer because he thought they had enough on their plate
she got busted on cancer after telling us the tumour in her head was the size of a grapefruit
really?
its sad really
LLL

haggistini · Post: # 81236Post **haggistini** Sat Jul 28, 2012 7:51 pm

Some serious issues there LLL defiantly needs a shrink

Post: # 81240Post **seanandruby** Sat Jul 28, 2012 9:19 pm

Sounds like she could do with cognitive behavior therapy. Ask her to get in touch with a Dr who can send her to see a consultant in this field

Sat Jul 28, 2012 9:33 pm

she wont admit she has a problem Sean,she says i have just got it in for her
will speak to my mum and dad about trying to get her in to some treatment
whatever it was she was fine till she hit 21,then she started dating a very undesirable bloke even by our low standards ,
it all started then and has never stopped
cheers
LLL

Natajane · Post: # 81245Post **Natajane** Sat Jul 28, 2012 9:35 pm

This is a difficult one. She may not believe there's anything wrong with herself to submit herself to treatment.

Perhaps the best thing to do is to help your parents to realise her problem?

I know that sounds weird but my sister is also a bit of a liar (no where near as bad as yours though!) and for years my parents thought the sunshone out of her behind. I would fall out with my sister and try to get her to see someone but i couldn't make her.

Instead i was quite persistent, in a gentle way, in showing my parents in how to see through the lies. They now no longer 'lend' her money and don't always believe her stories now.

This is so much better for the family, I no longer feel annoyed and my sister actually lies less now as no one responds to her crap.

Good luck, hold in there.

rab1 · Post: # 81246Post **rab1** Sat Jul 28, 2012 9:36 pm

Does she admit she has a problem?

Natajane · Post: # 81249Post **Natajane** Sat Jul 28, 2012 9:41 pm

Oh another trick I pull with my sister is to completely ignore any of her lies and I show extra interest in her 'real life'.

Kind of giving her positive reinforcement for being normal! Sometimes people fabricate things to give themselves confidence or try to feel like they're an interesting part of the group.

The less accepted she feels in the group the more lying she may do to get attention. To some people, bad attention is better than none.

mickavalon · Post: # 81310Post **mickavalon** Mon Jul 30, 2012 2:55 pm

I've just bumped into an old mate, from way back, who, in the space of the same conversation, told me he was in the Royal Marines(He's 35 and once tried to join 10 years ago), just back on leave from Afghanistan, was going on a training course with the Army and was out looking for work(he used to be a Brickie). He's a good lad but his family history is a real mess, family breakup, bad time with his step dad, drugs at an early age and too much of them, and he's always been the same. Most of his tales are obviously a cry for attention, and usually we just ignore it, but it's left him with a string of messed up relationships, and not a lot of mates.
I think Natajane has hit all the nails on the head LLL, but sadly I gave up on my mate years back, too much stress.

ilovesettsonmondays · Mon Jul 30, 2012 3:16 pm

on a lighter note . did a driveway for this retired guy years ago who was high up at a certain car plant . we were sat round his kitchen table having breakfast one morning. my mate asked him if he had any funny stories from work over the years.he said one time he had to sack someone for bad timekeeping .got the guy in with his union rep and let him have his say ."i was late this time mr blah blah ,because my wifes family decided to come and stay,we gave up our bed and i slept in the front room and in our front room mr blah blah ,we have a budgie and the only way to stop it tweeting is to let it fly round the room. i set my alarm for 5am mr blah blah and didnt wake up till six thirty .i couldnt believe my eyes mr blah blah .the budgie had only got its leg stuck between the hammer and the bell on the alarm clock ???