A scouser walked into the local welfare office to pick up his cheque.
He marched straight up to the counter and said, 'Hi. You know, I just hate drawing benefits. I'd really rather have a job.'
The social worker behind the counter said, 'Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter’.
‘You'll have to drive around in his 2008 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips’.
‘This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have, as part of your job assignment, to satisfy her sexual urges, as the daughter is in her mid-20s and has a rather strong sex drive’.
‘A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc. located above the garage, will be designated for your sole use and the salary is £200,000 a year.'
The scouser says 'You're bullshittin me!'
The social worker answered 'Well . . you started it, now f**k off''.
:laugh:
LLL
Scouse joke
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Giles
Groundworks and Equestrian specialists, prestige new builds and sports pitches. High Peak, Cheshire, South Yorkshire area.
http://www.gbgroundworks.com
Groundworks and Equestrian specialists, prestige new builds and sports pitches. High Peak, Cheshire, South Yorkshire area.
http://www.gbgroundworks.com
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another scouse joke.there's an american astronaut ,russian astronaut and a scouse astronaut .the American one says"we are the most forward advanced country in the world ,we took the heart of a monkey put it in a human and within ten days it was out on the street looking for work ".
the Russian replies"that's nothing .we took the heart of a giraffe,put it in a human and within 5 days it was out on the street looking for work"
the scouser says "we beat you hands down ,we took a an old crow from the house of commons put her in 10,downing street and in a day the whole of merseyside was looking for work"
the Russian replies"that's nothing .we took the heart of a giraffe,put it in a human and within 5 days it was out on the street looking for work"
the scouser says "we beat you hands down ,we took a an old crow from the house of commons put her in 10,downing street and in a day the whole of merseyside was looking for work"