Who said "ducks cant fly?"

[seanandruby]

Yesterday my wife bought a metal bird food table/hanger. I erected it in the back garden. this morning at 7.00 i was making the tae, i opened the blinds and two ducks were walking down our path. :laugh: I got the wife out to look and she said we will have to try and get them back to the pond ( a mile away ) because " ducks cant fly and the cats will get them." Imagine the scene ....two grown ups making a trail of bread and slapping our legs saying "come on then." (like they could understand) After about a half hour one started heaving because the bread was dry and no water....panic now from the wife " go and get a saucer of water." as i was about to go and get some water a car drove past and the noise frightened the ducks and guess what.....they flew off :laugh: me and the wife looked around red faced to see if any one was watching. You've never seen so many curtains close at one go. Im now calling my wife mrs doolittle :laugh:

[surreyhillslandscapes.com]

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bar tender "I'll have a beer".
The bartender says "Hey! where did you come from?"
The duck says "I'm working the construction site across the street".
And the bartender says, "Well why are you working construction when you could be making millions in the circus?"
And the duck said "What would the circus want with a brick laying duck?"

[seanandruby]

..........mine must of had its hod carrier with it :laugh:

[Dave_L]

Ahhhhhhhh what a classic Sean, would loved to have seen you two!!!

[surreyhillslandscapes.com]

At least the one doin the hod carrying wouldn't have to use a ladder....he could fly up the scaffold eh Sean?

[Bobby Spray]

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?"

The bartender says, "No, I'm sorry, we don't have any grapes".

So the duck leaves, but returns ten minutes later and says, "Hey, bartender, do you have any grapes?"

The bartender says, "No, I told you ten minutes ago we don't have any grapes."

Again, the duck leaves. Ten minutes later the duck comes back and says, "Pardon me, do you have any grapes?"

The bartender yells, "We're a bar! We don't have any grapes! If you come in here one more time asking for grapes, I'm going to nail your beak to that bar!"

The duck says nothing and leaves. A few minutes later, he comes back and asks, "Do you have any nails?" The bartender scoffs and says, "Of course we don't have any nails".

The duck says, "Well then, do you have any grapes?"