Stories - Thought i would share

[danensis]

I've been away for a while as I went through a low patch after the death of my wife.

Anyway things are starting to look up (despite just being given the heave-ho by my employers) and I thought I'd share a couple of stories with you - I hope I haven't told them before?

My brother-in-law has just left his job, he liked the work and was a hard worker, but the transport manager was a ********. His job was delivering huge generators to hospitals, universities and so on when their power failed.

One job was at a well known university in the midlands. The chap supervising operations was the head of department, PhD, brain the size of a planet. David turns up with the generator, and Dr Brain says "we want it in that courtyard there". David looks at the entrance and says "It'll never go in there". Dr Brain argues the point, and David gets out his tape measure, and demonstrated that an 8'6" wide lorry won't go through a 7'6" wide gap. "But that's the only way in!". David walks through the archway, and into the courtyard. At one side is a roadway, with no obstructions at all. "Why can't we bring it in that way?"

"But that's the way out".

[James.Q]

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
oh dear! these folks with so much 'intelligance' but no common sence, you've got to laugh!

Sorry to hear about your loss, I'm glad to hear things are starting to look up a bit for you now.

best wishes,
Mrs James

[danensis]

Another time he was delivering a generator to a hospital. The route was along a service road, with a number of pipe bridges crossing it. David spoke to the chief engineer, and confirmed that the bridges were high enough for his vehicle to pass underneath. "Are you sure?" "Yes, we've got all the dimensions, and its well clear".

So David sets off. Bang! Hisssssssss.

David is out of the lorry and several hundred yards up the road, looking back at his lorry disappearing in a white cloud.

The engineer had forgotten that on top of the generator there are two whacking great silencers, adding another 18" to the height.

The pipes contained liquid nitrogen, which had gone into the ventilation grilles of the generator, and due to the temperature differential had cracked all the main components. New pipes, new generator, and no power for a few more hours.

[Dave_L]

Dear oh dear, you just couldn't make it up!

Mind you, shouldn't there be a banksman present during such operations?

[lutonlagerlout]

sorry to hear of your loss danesis

i went to a carvery last sunday and was arguing with the mrs about when easter sunday fell.

so i asked the waitress "do you know when easter sunday is this year ?"
she frowned ,then replied " i think its on a sunday this year"

she was blonde


LLL

[Tony McC]

Good to see you back, Jon.