Remember back in the day when you were fresh from school and as green as a cabbage, you were wound up and told to get all sort's of fictional stuff from the local builders merchant?
My personal favourite being that I had to get a couple of bag's of experience and 100 butterfly wall tie's with a left hand twist.
Others I have heard of are Sky hooks, skirting board ladders, tartan paint, elbow grease and a long weight. Anyone have others ? :p
Wind up's - What's the best
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surreyhillslandscapes.com
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andpartington
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- Location: cheadle uk
left hand screw driver
glass hammer
a light bulb repair kit
a learning curve
a metric adjustable spanner
a bucket of vacuum, steam, sparks electricity
a box of glass nails
ID10-T tool
toe nail
Fluorescent tube bender
afterburner flints
can of jet wash
A square rolling pin
The colander with no holes
pick up a load of sailboat fuel
ect
ect
andy
glass hammer
a light bulb repair kit
a learning curve
a metric adjustable spanner
a bucket of vacuum, steam, sparks electricity
a box of glass nails
ID10-T tool
toe nail
Fluorescent tube bender
afterburner flints
can of jet wash
A square rolling pin
The colander with no holes
pick up a load of sailboat fuel
ect
ect
andy
Warning "Dyslexic Fingers At Work" in Cheadle, Manchester UK
cheers andy
cheers andy
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lutonlagerlout
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long weight was always a favourite of the old lads,building sites were a dangerous place for apprentices in the 80's (even more so before) if you were gobby you tended to get tortured,one chippy apprentice had his brand new 10 speed racer dismantled and put into the waterbut,i had the ham stolen out of my sandwiches and replaced with cement bags cut into triangles
the worst i ever saw was the same chippy lad having his pants filled with swarfega and 2 hod carriers bouncing him up and down by his pants while he squealed,very very nasty and i am sure the police would be called in today,for what amounted to a sexual assault,some things are best left in the past
also seen roof tiler apprentices left on the roof for a couple of hours while the tilers went to the pub== and took the ladder down
again not nice at all
LLL
the worst i ever saw was the same chippy lad having his pants filled with swarfega and 2 hod carriers bouncing him up and down by his pants while he squealed,very very nasty and i am sure the police would be called in today,for what amounted to a sexual assault,some things are best left in the past
also seen roof tiler apprentices left on the roof for a couple of hours while the tilers went to the pub== and took the ladder down
again not nice at all
LLL
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Stewart Towes
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matt h
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i knew a chef sent to another hotel for a tin of chicken lips... laughed for days... they sent the same eegit for a quantity of chrystal wine glasses to the most expensive hatel around with the ploy that the expensive haotel had actually borrowed them from this tiny establishment... needless to say the poor fella believed the story and got quite stroppy with nthe maitre d sorry to say the same eegit is now my brother in law... obviously my sister is as daft as they come...
general builder, maintenance engineer, gas and plumbing installations, extensions etc
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lutonlagerlout
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how many ways can you spell hotel m8?matt h wrote:i knew a chef sent to another hotel for a tin of chicken lips... laughed for days... they sent the same eegit for a quantity of chrystal wine glasses to the most expensive hatel around with the ploy that the expensive haotel had actually borrowed them from this tiny establishment... needless to say the poor fella believed the story and got quite stroppy with nthe maitre d sorry to say the same eegit is now my brother in law... obviously my sister is as daft as they come...
lmao
LLL :;):
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Rich H
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- Location: Reading
In the days when cars had seperate keys for the door and ignition we got some poor bloke's set, took the door key off it, put his bunch in the ignition and locked the door. We watched his bafflement from a safe place before he took a crow bar to the door. We thought that was a good time to 'fess up.
How about glueing the pound coin to the bottom of the toilet bowl? That was a good 'un.
I was sent for a long weight in my first job. It was a an excellent setup. I was 16, working in an egg-packing factory. Lunchtime on the first day, lots of people were gathered around one of the size-grading machines, which was stopped. The boss told me it graded the eggs by weight and one of the weights was knackered. "Tell you what," he says "go down to stores and get a spare, would you? We'll only need the long one..."
The more usual initiation was to fix the new kids to one of the pillars with packing tape.
How about glueing the pound coin to the bottom of the toilet bowl? That was a good 'un.
I was sent for a long weight in my first job. It was a an excellent setup. I was 16, working in an egg-packing factory. Lunchtime on the first day, lots of people were gathered around one of the size-grading machines, which was stopped. The boss told me it graded the eggs by weight and one of the weights was knackered. "Tell you what," he says "go down to stores and get a spare, would you? We'll only need the long one..."
The more usual initiation was to fix the new kids to one of the pillars with packing tape.
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surreyhillslandscapes.com
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Was working on a swimming pool surround a couple of years ago and the fella I was working with told his labourer to put a spirit level on the water to check if it was level, he did as well ! ,He finally clicked something was up though when he asked him to get a bucket and scoop water from the deep and dump it in the shallow to level it up .
Did see a nasty one a few years ago on site, someone was putting turd's on the roofers ladder rungs... one was found in their kettle too ..
Did see a nasty one a few years ago on site, someone was putting turd's on the roofers ladder rungs... one was found in their kettle too ..
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I've just screeded that!!!!!!!
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I've just screeded that!!!!!!!
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Edgecraft
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Hey Stewart,
My best mate did the Bubbles for spirit level on an apprentice he had working with him.
He sent him for a box of bubbles from the stores with explicit instructions he wasn't to look in the box on the way back, when he returned with them my mate opened the box and said you've f***ing opened the box haven't you ? to which the lad replied err.. yes
so my mate said youv'e let the bubbles escape, go back to the f***ing stores and get another box and this time don't open it, "which the lad did tail between legs" !
You can't buy experience !
Darren
My best mate did the Bubbles for spirit level on an apprentice he had working with him.
He sent him for a box of bubbles from the stores with explicit instructions he wasn't to look in the box on the way back, when he returned with them my mate opened the box and said you've f***ing opened the box haven't you ? to which the lad replied err.. yes
so my mate said youv'e let the bubbles escape, go back to the f***ing stores and get another box and this time don't open it, "which the lad did tail between legs" !
You can't buy experience !
Darren
What do you mean you've changed your mind, i've already started !
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Edgecraft
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The best one i've ever heard was when someone managed to swiped the keys for a mates car, they opened the drivers door wound down the window then closed the door and locked it, next they had managed to get hold of some shattered glass and scattered this on the driver seat and on the ground outside the open window, then they returned his keys without him knowing !
He drove around for a week with a piece of polythene taped over his window until autoglass turned up to fit a new one......
You can guess the rest !
Darren
He drove around for a week with a piece of polythene taped over his window until autoglass turned up to fit a new one......
You can guess the rest !
Darren
What do you mean you've changed your mind, i've already started !
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Tony McC
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Nigel Walker
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Had a young lad - 17 yrs old. We had just finshed sanding and compacting a block drive. It started to rain a little bit and the Kiln Sand got damp. We told the young un to sweep up the sand, put into a bucket, knock on door and ask woman if she could dry the sand in her oven.
2 mins later he came back with empty bucket. The woman had put the sand onto baking trays and in oven !!!
Nigel
2 mins later he came back with empty bucket. The woman had put the sand onto baking trays and in oven !!!
Nigel
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seanandruby
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I was poring a few concrete slabs. on the drawing they were shown in different colours to show load bearings etc; obviously they were all grey. we took it in turns to go 4 break and when i came back i said (in an o f**k me what have you done tone)" you've haven't added the colour." i showed them the drawing... one blue, one yellow, one red etc; it was one blokes first time on a site and i winked at the others who on cue all blamed him. his face was a picture as he tried to explain that " how was i s'posed to know. "quality :laugh: :laugh:
sean