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Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:25 am
by seanandruby
Paddy is passing by Mick's hay shed one day when through a gap
in the door
he sees Mick doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an
old red
Massey Ferguson.
Buttocks clenched he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides
off first
the right welly, followed by the left.
He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic
striptease move lets
his braces fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips
over his
corduroy trousers.
Grabbing both sides of his checked shirt, he rips it apart to
reveal his tea
stained vest underneath and with a final flourish he hurls his
flat cap on
to a pile of hay.
"What the feck are you doing Mick" says Paddy.
"Jeez Paddy, ye frightened the livin bejasus out of me, says an
obviously
embarrassed Mick, "but me and the Missus been having some
trouble lately in
the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do
something sexy to a
tractor".
Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:31 am
by mickg
ha ha nice one sean 
Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 2:47 pm
by DNgroundworks
ha ha 
Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 4:38 pm
by lutonlagerlout
n1 sean
paddy and mick decide to try wife swapping
after 3 hours of mind blowing sex ,paddy says to mick "shall we see how the women are getting on?"
LLL :laugh:
Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 5:58 pm
by mickg
Murphy calls to see his mate paddy, who has a broken leg.
paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?"
"No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on their beds.
"Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both."
"Fook off you liar!"
"I'll prove it," Murphy says.
So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, paddy?"
"Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?"
Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 5:59 pm
by mickg
Abdul and paddy are begging outside a railway station. Abdul has a Mercedes, a large house and is loaded, paddy has flip all. Abdul's begging hat is overflowing with with numerous notes but paddy has just a few coppers in his.
"How do you do it?" asks paddy.
"Look at your sign," says Abdul.
paddy's sign reads: "Out of work, wife and six kids to support, please help."
paddy then looks at Abdul's sign, which says: "I only need another £20 to get back to Pakistan."
Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 6:02 pm
by mickg
paddy took his chainsaw back into B&Q and says to the bloke in dungarees "You told me this chainsaw would cut one hundred trees down in a day, well today its only cut fifty."
So the bloke gets the chainsaw and pulls the start up cord and it goes 'brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr', and paddy says "What's that fuckin' noise?"
Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 6:30 pm
by lutonlagerlout
LMAO
thing is in reality the irish are the most clued up people you could meet
keep em coming
LLL
Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 6:31 pm
by mickg
Mick, from Dublin , appeared on 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' and towards
the end of the program had already won 500,000 pounds.
You've done very well so far,' said, Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter,
but for a million pounds you've only got one lifeline left - phone a friend.
Everything is riding on this question......will you go for it?'
'Sure,' said Mick. 'I'll have a go!' 'Which of the following birds does NOT
build its own nest?'
A: Sparrow
B: Thrush
C: Magpie
D: Cuckoo
I haven't got a clue,' said Mick, 'so I'll use me last lifeline and phone me
friend paddy back home in Dublin '. Mick called up his mate, and told him
the circumstances and repeated the question to him.
'Hell, Mick!' cried paddy. 'Dat's simple......it's a cuckoo.'
'Are you sure?'
'I'm sure.' Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, 'I'll go wit Cuckoo as me
answer.' 'Is that your final answer?' asked Chris 'Dat it is, Sir.'
There was a long - long pause, then the presenter screamed, 'Cuckoo is the
correct answer! Mick, you've won 1 million pounds!'
The next night, Mick invited paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.
'Tell me, paddy? How in Heaven's name did you know it was da Cuckoo that
doesn't build its own nest?
'Because he lives in a clock!'.