Posted: Sun Aug 02, 2009 5:12 pm
The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist
threats in Islamabad and have now raised their security level from
"Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet
again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross".
Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea
supplies ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to
a "Bloody Nuisance"
The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was
during the great fire of 1666.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terroralert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France
are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by the
recent fire that destroyed both of France's white flag factories,
effectively par
alyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy
has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to
"Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective
Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance"
to "Dress in Uniform" and "Sing Marching Songs." They also have two
higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish
navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of
their allies, just in case.
New Zealand has also raised its security levels – from "Baaa" to
"BAAAA!". Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the air force being a
squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some
toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more
level of escalation, which is "Sh#t, I hope Australia will come and
rescue us".
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to
"She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation l
evels remain:
"Crikey!',
"I think we'll need to cancel the Barbie this weekend" and
"The Barbie IS cancelled".
There has not been a situation yet that has warranted the use of the
final escalation level
:laugh: :laugh:
Hp
threats in Islamabad and have now raised their security level from
"Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet
again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross".
Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea
supplies ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to
a "Bloody Nuisance"
The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was
during the great fire of 1666.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terroralert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France
are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by the
recent fire that destroyed both of France's white flag factories,
effectively par
alyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy
has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to
"Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective
Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance"
to "Dress in Uniform" and "Sing Marching Songs." They also have two
higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish
navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of
their allies, just in case.
New Zealand has also raised its security levels – from "Baaa" to
"BAAAA!". Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the air force being a
squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some
toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more
level of escalation, which is "Sh#t, I hope Australia will come and
rescue us".
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to
"She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation l
evels remain:
"Crikey!',
"I think we'll need to cancel the Barbie this weekend" and
"The Barbie IS cancelled".
There has not been a situation yet that has warranted the use of the
final escalation level
:laugh: :laugh:
Hp
