Windy

[seanandruby]

For months i have been parking my car a distance from work and walking the last bit downhill. I pass a lady who has has it all ( not that i am interested you understand. ) looks, figure well dressed etc. She stands there waiting for her lift, never spoke, or eye contact. Yesterday it was a bit drissly and i was walking down as usual and after the long drive and walk i got the urge to "let one rip." Luckily she was'nt about, so ( it was one of those that you have to stop for and slightly raise one leg ) off it went. With the silence of the morning, it sounded like concorde taking off. After, it had reverberated off of every wall around and silence resumed, i heard in the most common voice you are ever likely to hear, "f*** are you sure you have'nt s*** yourself." that was from herself who was sheltering from the rain under a porch. Talk about bursting the bubble, put me off her completly. I uttered the usual cliched response, "better out than in," as i scurried off on my way. :p MEMO...change of route on monday.

[topgrafter2007]

rather akward moment eh! i worked with a young labourer once who took some knickers off the customers washing line and put them on his head only to turn round and be greeted by the thong wearer bearing a tray of tea and kitkats!! it got funnier when she mentioned that they were her time of the month ones! labourer was absent following day tho...

[lutonlagerlout]

an old guy " breeze block" was sitting in the foresters,drinking away,anyway he was very windy that day and after a particularly vile one i accused him of "following through"
"i'll prove it he says" and gets up and starts to undo his belt,and then he says "i'm tellin ye boy,old ones don't count"
personal hygiene was not his strong point,poor sod froze to death on a park bench after another session
LLL

[Dave_L]

rather akward moment eh! i worked with a young labourer once who took some knickers off the customers washing line and put them on his head only to turn round and be greeted by the thong wearer bearing a tray of tea and kitkats!! it got funnier when she mentioned that they were her time of the month ones! labourer was absent following day tho...

Now that's a classic!

Nice one Sean, love these real-life stories

[Dave_L]

it got funnier when she mentioned that they were her time of the month ones!

My god, I'd like to see her Valentines night/Christmas knickers!!!

[Tommy]

I got talking to a tree surgeon some time back, and somehow he got round to telling me that once upon a time he was on a job section felling a huge oak.

He gets out to the end main branch, feels a rumbling in his gut, as a result of a bit too heavy session in the pub the night before. inadvertently lets slip, and lets just say he got more than he bargained for. And his groundsman wasnt too happy about him going in the van after he got down.


The same bloke very nearly had a heart attack when shuffling along a branch in a cedar, and a squirrel jumped out at him

[Dave_L]

What a classic!!!!!! I love the way in which you so eloquently put it Tommy!!

[seanandruby]

went the same route and glamour girl said hallo and we chatted. first time i;ve ever been on farting terms with someone before talking :laugh: