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Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 10:21 pm
by James.Q
A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach t he lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.




Moral of the story:
Bull S#!& might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.




Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 11:23 pm
by Injured
Very good and unfortunately very true!!

Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 8:25 am
by seanandruby
An elderly Cherokee Indian was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them : “A fight is going on inside of me. It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves…

One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, shame, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, loneliness, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

War bonnettThe other wolf stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.

This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person.�

The grandchildren thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?�

The old Cherokee simply replied… “The one you feed.�

Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 8:48 am
by Dave_L
Father O'Conner keeps chickens in a coop behind the church. One sunday he goes to feed them and finds the cock's gone missing. He knows there's cock fighting in the village so at mass he questions the congregation. "Has anybody here got a cock?" All the men stand up. "No, no. I meant has anybody seen a cock?" All the women stand up. "No, no, no, has anybody here seen MY cock?"
16 altar boys, 2 nuns and a goat stood up!

Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 8:49 am
by Dave_L
Paddy meets Mick in the street & says "I wish u would close your curtains when making love to your wife. All the neighbours were laughing at you yesterday". "Well, says Mick, the laugh is on them cos I wasn't home yesterday!"

har har!!!!! :D