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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 10:35 pm
by lutonlagerlout
a close male relative of mine has gone from a lifelong heavy drinker into a full-bore alky in the last year
he used to drink every weekend and maybe 3 nights a week
but know its the full 14 shifts a week
hes 72 and because he goes to the pub and doesn't drink at home he wont admit he has a problem
hes drinking 20-25 pints of guinness a day
everything i have tried has failed,i even bet him £50 yesterday he couldn't stay off it today but he had failed by 2 o'clock
now everybody has to die sometime but i would like to hang onto this fella for a bit longer,he has more than enough money to drink himself to death ,
what I am after is any advise relating to treatments and/or residential drying out clinics
i was in favour of kidnapping him and taking him away somewhere for a week but a nurse has told me that the shock of an abrupt halt can be devastating
hes of sound mind and reasonably fit (for now) but if i do nothing hes going to kill himself
LLL 
Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 10:50 pm
by rab1
sorry to hear this mate, can social services not offer any advice/tips.
Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 11:10 pm
by GB_Groundworks
Tony my best friend is a drug/drink councillor for the charity turning point working with the council, i'll ask her tomorrow and see what she says.
sorry to hear that mate, but unless they want to change there is no chance to force them.
an intervention might work if you get everyone in the family to get together singing from the same song book and make sure theres no leeway or banter form a smart aleck to give him a chance to dismiss it.
Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 11:15 pm
by GB_Groundworks
Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 12:06 am
by bobbi o
If he can drink 25 pints of guiness a day at the age of 72,the guy is a feckin legend.
i know my old boy was drinking more and more in his final few years,approaching that age,but it was one of the few pleasures he had left in life and also depending what your tipple is,it may have medicinal qualities that dull the pain in other parts of the body.
you obviously can't take the guiness away from him,possibly the answer is to help him reduce the quantity by banning him from the pub until a certain hour of the day.
Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 7:38 am
by lutonlagerlout
he has always been able to drink me under the table,but one of my biggest concerns is that he has stopped eating near enough altogether
i used to see him munch a raw onion like an apple and it was potato cabbage and meat every night
I'll check out those links giles thanks
LLL
Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 9:46 am
by Suggers
Hi LLL - we have 3 members of AA in our little sunday afternoon cricket team (they call it the black hand gang) - we talked about it once and they all agreed you had to hit rock bottom, financially & socially, before you recognised it was a problem. They were roughly in their early 30's when they started sorting things out - I guess it's different for someone in their early 70's.
I'm sure Giles is right about them having to want to change. He's lucky to have people about who care.
Regards.
Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 5:26 pm
by lutonlagerlout
its a tough one because he is doing nothing wrong legally
his wife and kids have got the right hump,but theres little they have tried that will work
It makes you wonder when the Rubicon is crossed between heavy drinker and alky
i consider myself a social drinker,but i can get very sociable when drinking
however i never drink on a school night (sun-thurs)
the problem is for Irishmen of his generation ,to be able to be in the pub morning noon and night is aspirational
its all they ever wanted
LLL
Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 9:01 pm
by seanandruby
there is'nt anything you can do tony, except be there for him. He has to want to stop drinking. All the lecturing in the world won't help. I was an alki for years until I hit rock bottom. ( long story) an high court judge sorted me oUt, sorted me 3 months in rehab with a promise of a 5 stretch if I did'nt stick it out. I did and turned my life around. But I had wanted to give up for years and Could'nt, not without professional help. Treatment needs to be controlled with drugs. Just stoping could give him heart failure. He could have seizures. Just ask him to go to the drs for help. He can't do it without the professional councillors . I survived for a long time on raw eggs mixed with a pint of anything alcoholic. I feel for you as I have a brother dying of cancer because of booze. He has no stomach, has a shit bag but still he drinks day and night. I've had so many friends die, murdered, killed or banged up through booze. . Good luck to you lll yoi'll need it.
Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 10:11 pm
by Suggers
As much as I love Sean, he's being extreme - this is not a black & white issue - many shades of grey - you can't be sure either, that Sean's bruvver's cancer is down to the booze - we hav a good friend with lung cancer, never smoked in her life?
I often wonder if I'm drinking too much? - naah, I love it...
ps - I remember an old John Glashan cartoon in Punch, two guys sitting in the pub, one says to the other,
"It's not that I'm addicted to heroin, I just like the taste."
Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 10:53 pm
by Pablo
Right here's the definative answer from the horses mouth so to speak. My wife is a clinical Phsycologist who works part time for the northern board addictions service and the rest is adult mental health.
The definition of an alcoholic is not down to volume consumed but is defined as being someone who has a dependancy and has to have one. It is often the case that an alcoholoc can be dry all year and will lose the plot for one day and then be dry again. They had to have that drink like it was an unstoppable urge so that makes them an alcoholic. They are also classed for the rest of their lives as being an alcoholic the health service don't use the word reformed because most are still fighting the urge on some level or other they are dry or wet. You cannot change one they have to make that decision themselves and most of the time they have to hit rock bottom first. From personal experience it's painfully upsetting to see and all you can do is be there when you can to offer support and friendship. Quite often they will turn friends and family away and seek associations with lesser characters and it becomes even harder to pull them back. There is some research to show that if you encourage them to get out and about and get active etc then they can see a brighter future without going to the very bottom first. Exercise = endorphine's etc. The activity can also be some thing to make them obsess about something less harmfull be it fishing model building you name it. Lesser of 2 evils . If you make them go cold turkey against their will they will revert as soon as they're free. Can't believe I called my wife a horse I'm feckin dead.
Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 11:41 pm
by lutonlagerlout
cheers men
It makes you wonder why drink is still legal
some societies survive without it,
I fear that rock bottom for him will be the grave, his wife showed me his bank statements and he is spending £350 to £400 purely on Guinness a week @£2.50 a pint
you can do the maths
we got him to the doctors but he said his eyes were hurting and making him drink,also various pains in legs back etc cause him to drink
the thing is he was a great craic for 20years,but most of his peer group are gone now
I'll update any positive outcome
LLL
Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 2:44 am
by Suggers
Good speak Pab -
also just thought - retirement's a weird thing - suddenly your whole every day thing stops....
There've been a few good old boys locally, who are doing much the same thing. The missus ain't used to having them round the house all day ?
Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 10:02 pm
by enigmaenigma
Lutonlagerlout,
Is he really spending that much upon himself, or is he also a target for the dead legs and hangers on
He might be everybody’s favourite fella in the pub at the moment, but what of when the money starts to run dry
Posted: Wed Feb 03, 2010 12:59 am
by lutonlagerlout
i went for a beer with him to watch the celtic the other sunday,between 2 and 6 we drank 12 pints of the black stuff each
i was pie eyed and mrs lout was not happy
he ate his dinner had a wash then went back out
I lay very quietly on the settee for 8 hours
I know what you mean but he doesn't drink in the places frequented by the dossers and hangers on
we had a quote today for 2 weeks in a drying out clinic of 10 grand
dont want to spend that if he goes straight back on it
LLL