Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 7:28 pm
Revived this email today ... Spot on!
> Is this the answer?
> Dear Mr. Cameron,
> Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK's economy.
>
> Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned
> bonuses, use the following plan.
>
> You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
>
> There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
>
> Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
>
> 1) They MUST retire.
> Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed
>
> 2) They MUST buy a new British car.
> Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
>
> 3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
> Housing Crisis fixed
>
> 4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
> Crime rate fixed
>
> 5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
> And there's your money back in duty/tax etc
>
> It can't get any easier than that!
>
> P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and
> second home allowances
>
> If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
>
> Also………..
> Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
>
> This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
>
> They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd
> receive money instead of paying it out.
>
> They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed
> assistance.
>
> Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
>
> A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.
>
> They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
>
> They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.
>
> Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
>
> Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
>
> Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
>
> There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that
> would be strictly adhered to.
>
> The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once
> a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.
>
> Think about this (more points of contention):
>
> COWS
> Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could
> track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the
> county of Cumbria?
>
> And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants
> wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow
> Is this the answer?
> Dear Mr. Cameron,
> Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK's economy.
>
> Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned
> bonuses, use the following plan.
>
> You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
>
> There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
>
> Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
>
> 1) They MUST retire.
> Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed
>
> 2) They MUST buy a new British car.
> Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
>
> 3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
> Housing Crisis fixed
>
> 4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
> Crime rate fixed
>
> 5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
> And there's your money back in duty/tax etc
>
> It can't get any easier than that!
>
> P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and
> second home allowances
>
> If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
>
> Also………..
> Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
>
> This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
>
> They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd
> receive money instead of paying it out.
>
> They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed
> assistance.
>
> Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
>
> A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.
>
> They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
>
> They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.
>
> Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
>
> Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
>
> Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
>
> There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that
> would be strictly adhered to.
>
> The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once
> a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.
>
> Think about this (more points of contention):
>
> COWS
> Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could
> track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the
> county of Cumbria?
>
> And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants
> wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow
