Jokes - Snowed in :(

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Dave_L
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Post: # 86214Post Dave_L

Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this guy standing next to the urinal. The guy has no arms. As Bob's standing there, taking care of business, he wonders to himself how the poor wretch is going to take a leak. Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob to help him out.

Being a kind soul, Bob says, "Ah, OK, sure, I'll help you." The man asks, "Can you unzip my zipper?" Bob says, "OK." Then the man says, "Can you pull it out for me?" Bob replies, "Uh, yeah, OK."

Bob pulls it out and it has all kinds of mold and red bumps, with hair clumps, rashes, moles, scabs, scars, and reeks something awful. Then the guy asks Bob to point it for him, and Bob points for him. Bob then shakes it, puts it back in and zips it up.

The guy tells Bob, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it." Bob says, "No problem, but what the hell's wrong with your penis?"

The guy pulls his arms out of his shirt and says, "I don't know, but I ain't touching it."
:D :D :;): :cool: :laugh:
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lutonlagerlout
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Post: # 86219Post lutonlagerlout

jeez thats older than you dave :)
LLL
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Dave_L
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Post: # 86221Post Dave_L

lutonlagerlout wrote:jeez thats older than you dave :)
LLL
The cheek of it.............

I simply don't know how these layabout types stay in all day....ffs I'm bored.
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lutonlagerlout
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Post: # 86222Post lutonlagerlout

tell me about it dave
cleaned out my office ,done all the quotes and now bored stiff
LLL :O
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Carberry
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Post: # 86224Post Carberry

You could always break out the cement mixer and make a ride

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flowjoe
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Post: # 86233Post flowjoe

Dont know what all the fuss is about with the Horse meat in the burgers, Horse meat is a very good source of Vitamin GG ???
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Dave_L
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Post: # 86234Post Dave_L

A highways agency warning said anyone travelling in icy conditions should take a shovel, blankets, sleeping bag, extra clothing, including a scarf, hat, gloves, 24 hour supply of food and drink, de-icer, rock salt, torch, tow rope, petrol can, first aid kit and jump leads. I looked a right twat on the bus this morning.
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Dave_L
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Post: # 86235Post Dave_L

Anyone know someone who does this? I think every site has one...

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Tony McC
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Post: # 86248Post Tony McC

If they've no burgers left in Tesco, try the meatballs - my lad reckons they're the dog's bollocks! :p
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mickg
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Post: # 86341Post mickg

Tesco are giving double club card points on burgers and petrol starting on Monday the deal is called "only fuel and horses" :)
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