50 shades of chav

[Carberry]

mummyporn eh?
LLL

[sussex]

great post,best laugh i've had today !

[Carberry]

don't need a manual for sex to turn my wife on, she reckons i do it for her anytime. Us old 'uns are very knowledgeable in that dept'. Don't need books, sex toys, or custard. Young guys rely on outside forces to much. should get off their arses, off the playstation, off the net, go for a run, bike ride, swim etc and you'll be humping for england ( we need to win at something ). 50 shades of shite :;): :laugh:

Let me guess....

Missionary with the lights out for the sole purpose of procreation? :p

ps: got the books in ebook format if anyone wants them let me know and ill email them.

[flowjoe]

don't need a manual for sex to turn my wife on, she reckons i do it for her anytime. Us old 'uns are very knowledgeable in that dept'. Don't need books, sex toys, or custard. Young guys rely on outside forces to much. should get off their arses, off the playstation, off the net, go for a run, bike ride, swim etc and you'll be humping for england ( we need to win at something ). 50 shades of shite :;): :laugh:

I bet i am done and asleep before you have completed your health and safety checks sean :;):



Edited By flowjoe on 1341261346

[seanandruby]

don't need a manual for sex to turn my wife on, she reckons i do it for her anytime. Us old 'uns are very knowledgeable in that dept'. Don't need books, sex toys, or custard. Young guys rely on outside forces to much. should get off their arses, off the playstation, off the net, go for a run, bike ride, swim etc and you'll be humping for england ( we need to win at something ). 50 shades of shite :;): :laugh:

Let me guess....

Missionary with the lights out for the sole purpose of procreation? :p

ps: got the books in ebook format if anyone wants them let me know and ill email them.

done the procreation bit 35 years ago, solely from a business point of view ( family allowance ). Now i do it for pleasure, missionary no but nearly shagged a nun once ( see one of the previous posts ) nasty habit :;):

[seanandruby]

don't need a manual for sex to turn my wife on, she reckons i do it for her anytime. Us old 'uns are very knowledgeable in that dept'. Don't need books, sex toys, or custard. Young guys rely on outside forces to much. should get off their arses, off the playstation, off the net, go for a run, bike ride, swim etc and you'll be humping for england ( we need to win at something ). 50 shades of shite :;): :laugh:

I bet i am done and asleep before you have completed your health and safety checks sean :;):

it's called foreplay floe'

[Carberry]

done the procreation bit 35 years ago, solely from a business point of view ( family allowance ). Now i do it for pleasure, missionary no but nearly shagged a nun once ( see one of the previous posts ) nasty habit :;):

Don't remember reading about the nun so I googled it and got this...

A nun walks on to a construction site, wearing her hard hat, high vis vest and 3 layers of bubblewrap. She says to Sean she needs someone to talk to. She lives in a convent and wants to experience sex before she dies. Sean agrees but the nun explains she can't have sex with a married man because it would be a sin. Sean says no problem, he's not married. The nun says she also has to die a virgin, so she has to take it in the ass. Sean agrees again and being the only two people on the building site they go in the back and take care of business. When they were done and he had resumed building stuff Sean said, "Sister, I have a confession to make, I'm married and have three kid's." The nun replied, "That's O.K. I have a confession too. My name is Bruce and I'm on my way to a costume party."




Took a lot of time for me to find and replace 'bus driver' with 'sean' and 'bus' with 'building site' :laugh: :p

[lutonlagerlout]

crikey thats the oldest nun joke i ever heard
it was skinhead when i were a lad :laugh:
keep it up fellas
(did you see what i did there?)
LLL

[seanandruby]

.......why would my past life be on google bruce carberry? Thought that was our secret, o well it's out there now, glad you enjoyed it :laugh:

[parishpaver]

After reading this book, your women might be randy as hell but while they're going at it they ain't thinking of you...their mind will be on whichever young buck is giving it to some minx in the book.

My missus is five months pregnant and thats done the trick for her....problem is... if she gets any bigger I'm gonna need Kendal mint cake.

[flowjoe]

Whos he then ?

[lutonlagerlout]

I'm gonna need Kendal mint cake.

for energy?
lost me here fella
LLL ???

[seanandruby]

apart from the cake being carried up a mountain, it still doesn't make sense. Need's a bit of lateral thinking to visualise the anology ???

[Carberry]

.......why would my past life be on google bruce carberry? Thought that was our secret, o well it's out there now, glad you enjoyed it :laugh:

For anyone wondering about the book, it's about some 27 year old called Christian Grey. He is a billionare, athletic, trained fighter pilot, speaks fluent french, uses his money to end world hunger, has a huge knob and can make the girl in the movel orgasm by touching her. He also has some deep seated emotional problem that only the right girl can fix :laugh:

First book he dominates her, 2nd book she 'fixes' him, 3rd book she dominates him.

[flowjoe]

Thought his name was Kendal Mintcake ?