Joke - Funny

[James.Q]

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A husband and wife are shopping in Tesco's when the man picks up a crate of
Stella and sticks it on their trolley.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
'They're on offer, only £10 for twelve cans!' he explains.
'Put them back. We can't afford it!' insists the wife and they carry on
shopping...
A few aisles later, the wife picks up a £20 jar of face cream and sticks it
on their trolley.
'What d'you think you're doing?' asks the man, indignantly.
'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' she says.
So the man replies:
'SO DO TWELVE CANS OF STELLA . . .
AND THEY'RE HALF THE F***ING PRICE!!

:p

[surreyhillslandscapes.com]

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bellringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringer's job. The bishop was incredulous "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man, "observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped, and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, "Bishop, who was this man?" "I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but his face rings a bell."

[dig dug dan]

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bellringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringer's job. The bishop was incredulous "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man, "observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped, and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, "Bishop, who was this man?" "I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but his face rings a bell.

they then re advertised the job and the mans brother applied. He too had similar pro0blems and on his first day also plunged to his death.
"who was he?"
"don't know but he's a dead ringer for his brother!"

[surreyhillslandscapes.com]

lol, like it