Happy christmas!

[Dave_L]

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Britain great (not to imply that Britain is necessarily greater than any other country in the Western Hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual reference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

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Found this on another site, thought you would like it......

[Stuarty]

Yeah i read that too heh, it made me laugh anyways :p

[lutonlagerlout]

let's get slaughtered!!

LLL

[simeonronacrete]

The Politically Correct Christmas.

It just might happen!

Just some helpful advice to all of you who may be considering arranging a Christmas Office party:

Memo to all Staff:

December 1st
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at the 'Steak House' Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols … feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over £10.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Human Resources Director

December 2nd
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we’re calling it our “Holiday Party.� The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanza at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung.

Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Human Resources Director

December 3rd
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I’m happy to accommodate this request, but, don’t forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, “AA Only,� you won’t be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about the gifts exchange– no gifts will be allowed since the union members feel that £10 is too much money.

Human Researchers Director

December 7th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I’ve arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men; each will have their own tables. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men’s table: Happy now?

Human Racehorses Director

December 9th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
People, people — nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of “Santa� does happen to be “Satan,� there is no evil connotation to our own “little man in a red suit.�


Human Ratraces

December 10th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
Vegetarians — I’ve had it with you people!! We’re going to hold this party at The 'Steak House' Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just sit at the table farthest from the “grill of death,� as you put it, and you’ll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them right now… Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Get drunk and die, you hear me?

The Bitch from Hell

December 14th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing our Human Resources Director a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness. I’ll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanatorium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Acting Human Resources Director

Have a very adequate non de-nominational holiday. (To be politically correct.)

It wouldn't really happen....would it???

Whatever you do, be happy!

[lutonlagerlout]

ROFL

merry xmas all
LLL

[Dave_L]

Just got in!

Let the drinking commence

Mustn't forget to remove the fireguard and leave some goodies out for Santa

[lutonlagerlout]

just ate half a carrot.a glass of milk,and half a mince pie
after 10 stellas!!
gotta keep the magic going for the daughter!
it really is xmas now so happy and healthy one to all the regulars
bonnait de douche
LLL

[seanandruby]

anyone want some sox? just laid the sausages end to end using spaghetti as a line. placed the beans in uniform, made a feature of the egg, screeded the butter on the bread. memo for 2007 i really must get out more. :laugh:

merry xmas to all.